


Gone

by Akaichi801



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/F, I think?, Im new to AO3 so I dont know how to tag omg forgive me, M/M, Tsukki being lonely bc i can hahahaha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-04-01 16:11:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4026367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akaichi801/pseuds/Akaichi801
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You wouldn't know exactly what you had until it's gone. That's what Tsukishima felt when he lost Yamaguchi. His best friend. The guy who had been with him almost all the time. The shy freckled boy who admired Tsukishima so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> This was not beta edited. I apologize for any mistakes you will find if ever. Constructive comments are highly appreciated. Thanks.

**  
You wouldn't know exactly what you had until it's gone.

That's what Tsukishima felt when he lost Yamaguchi. His best friend. The guy who had been with him almost all the time. The shy freckled boy who admired Tsukishima so much.

If only he had been more, what, sensitive? Aware? Suspicious? -- he doesn't even know -- Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't lost Yamaguchi.

Now that Tsukishima think about it, he realized it all started when he and Yamaguchi joined the Karasuno Volleyball Club. When the guy went to Shimada Makoto-san to teach him the jump float serve. When Yamaguchi started hanging out and talking to him lesser than usual. When the times that he comes over to Tsukishima's diminished.

He should have noticed.

He should have known by then that Yamaguchi was slowly drifting away from him.

But he had been so busy. What's with the school and club activities. Being in the college prep class is not a walk in the park -- Yamaguchi should know this because he's in college prep class too -- then there's the club practices that is more than enough to wore him out every single day. And honestly, the idea of losing Yamaguchi never crossed his mind. The guy is very much attached to him he was hardly seen without the other beside him. It seemed almost like impossible to separate them. But that was then.

And now, it's been eight years since Yamaguchi Tadashi left.

Eight miserable years without Yamaguchi. Without his weird but adorable freckles, his frequent "Tsukki's" (which Tsukishima missed the most to be honest), his quirks, his odd fascination to saggy french fries, his smile, his laugh, his warmth.

He missed his friend so much. But he didn't cry (hell, no). However, he can't deny the sudden pain in his chest whenever he see Hinata and Kageyama happy together, being obliviously sweet and all. He can't help himself think about the "might have been's", the "what if's" and Yamaguchi.

If only Yamaguchi didn't leave, Tsukishima is sure as hell they'll be like Hinata and Kageyama too.

He sighed. His left elbow on the table, his chin resting on his knuckles. His strawberry shortcake left untouched. This is how he spends his usual night in the past eight years. Dull, boring, tedious.

And hours of thinking about Yamaguchi, obviously. Like just now.

He leaned back on his seat and stared at the ceiling of the coffee shop he is in right now. He just got off from his work and he doesn't feel like going home in his lonely house yet. Yes, house. He can't even call it his home. His home had been long gone.  
I wonder where Yamaguchi is now.

Is he doing well?

Did he finish college?

Did he made friends? But knowing Yamaguchi's shy and awkward attitude, he maybe made only a few.

Is he happy?

Is he... thinking about me too?

He heard the ding of the coffee shop's bell signaling that a customer entered (or exited). But he isn't paying attention. He's busy thinking about Yamaguchi.

"One Vanilla Frappuccino and Caffe Americano, please. To go."

"Right away, sir."

"Thank you."

He was well known to be as the snarky bastard who love to piss people off. But when Yamaguchi left, people soon started to call him the cold-hearted giant. He shut people out and he became colder and more grumpy and sarcastic which made him all the more harder to approach. Less and less people tried to talk to him. Even the girls who had been swooning over him had been scared of him. Then people avoided him.

Except of course for his teammates -- who perfectly knows about the sole reason of the sudden change of his attitude.

For the first time in his life, he appreciated his teammates' presence. Their bubbly and cheerful disposition somehow eased the loneliness he felt. But that was it. At the end of the day, when they go home after a tiring practice, he missed the single person he always with when he go home, calling him "Tsukki" with his adorable nervous voice mumbling a series of "sorry" even though he didn't do anything wrong.

Tsukishima felt a small smile tug on his lips. He remembered those quiet nights he had with Yamaguchi, both of them sharing a comfortable silence on their way home.

Those simple moments he never thought would someday be the most important to him.

"Oh, shoot! I just remembered I need to buy something at the convenience store."

"We can just buy that after this."

"No. Maybe I should go now so we can head home faster."

"But --"

"Tadashi."

Tsukishima froze as he was pulled back from his trip from the past. He can't recognize the voice of the man who said it but the name is so hauntingly familiar it almost made Tsukishima stopped breathing.

"Sorry, Taiyou."

Okay, now that one did it.

"Just wait for me at the car okay?" Then a cling of a door chime.

Tsukishima is seated in his usual seat near the counter (so he can easily call some crew for some refill) beside the glass wall where he kill his time staring at. His back is facing the door so he can't see who is talking.

But he didn't dare to move. If he look back, there's only two possibilities that awaits him: see the person he is expecting (more like, wanted) to see, or be disappointed when he see someone else.

To be honest? Tsukishima is scared.

Scared that he might be wrong, that he just got his hopes up for nothing, and then he'll be back with his endless yearning for a certain freckled person.

"Sorry, Taiyou..."

"Sorry, Tsukki..."

He closed his eyes and felt his chest tightened. He can't bare it any longer.

"Here's your order, sir."

"Ah! Yes. T-thank you."

Tsukishima wanted to cry. That voice... is so achingly familiar.

"Please come again."

His heart is pounding so hard. He can't miss this chance. He looked away from the glass wall and into the counter. He saw the cashier smiled before she got back to her place next to the register. He then snapped his head into the door and see that same black greenish hair and the next thing he knew, he was out of the coffee shop, his one hand on the elbow of the other guy stopping them from walking away. Again.

"What the --! Let me g--"

Surprised eyes stared back at him. His face looked a bit different from what Tsukishima remembered but hey, it's been eight years. Change is inevitable. But he cannot mistaken those adorable freckles for anyone else.

"...Tsukki?" he asked cautiously "I.. I mean, Tsukish--! Wait-- What? W-w-w-why are you crying!?"

His panic mumbles turned into a sharp gasp when Tsukishima pulled him into a tight hug. Tsukishima closed his eyes and savored the warmth from the guy he longed to see for eight long years "Yamaguchi..." he whispered "God, I missed you. I missed you so much."

Yamaguchi melted in his arms and his hold on him tightened. Hands on Yamaguchi's waist and the other on the back of his head, Tsukishima inhaled Yamaguchi's scent. Nostalgia flooded his senses. Now he know why he's so adamant in seeing Yamaguchi; why in the eight long years they hadn't see each other, he never moved on; why he felt miserable when Yamaguchi left him; why he felt incomplete like a huge part of him was ripped from him.

It's because he love Yamaguchi.

He never realized it until now. He just concluded that it was because the guy is his best friend and they'd been together like forever that he's not used to being alone.

But now he knew.

He pulled away and cupped Yamaguchi's face. He didn't care if they're still outside the café and if someone or anyone is looking at them weird. They can fuck the hell up.

He longingly stare at Yamaguchi's face, saving the memory in his heart. Yamaguchi changed. He's more beautiful than the last time Tsukishima can remember seeing him. He cut his hair shorter accentuating his long lashes outlining pretty eyes, adorable dots from angel's kisses embellishing his beautiful face.

"T-tsukki... you're crying..."

Tsukishima smiled, didn't even bother wiping his tear-streaked face. "I don't know... I'm just happy."

Yamaguchi reached out, his free hand brushing Tsukishima's face wiping away those stubborn tears away himself. Tsukishima leaned closer to the touch, like a cat eager for more contact. He put his hand on top of Yamaguchi's and kissed his palm. 

"Please... Please tell me I'm not dreaming."

Yamaguchi smiled, "You're not dreaming Tsukki. What are you saying?"

"Oh god Yamaguchi, you don't know how I felt these past eight years. I missed you so much I thought I'm going insane."

Immediately, Yamaguchi's smile was gone and an unreadable expression took it's place.

"Why... why did you leave Yamaguchi? Why didn't you tell me?"

Yamaguchi now looked scared, he reflexively removed his hand on Tsukishima's grasp like he had been burned. He took a step back away from Tsukishima. "I'm sorry, Tsukki..."

"No! I mean, no, Yamaguchi. I'm not mad at you. But please, please tell me what was wrong. What happened? Why?"

Yamaguchi shook his head, "I'm happy to see you too, Tsukki. I'm glad to see you're fine. Tsukishima."

Yamaguchi turned his back at him, and started to walk away.

No! I won't let you leave me again!

"Yamaguchi! I love you--!"

"Tadashi!"

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima both froze on their tracks as another guy approached them. He's taller than Yamaguchi but still shorter compared to Tsukishima.

"What took you so long? I thought I told you to wait for me in the-- oh, did I interrupt something? What's happening here? Who is he?"

"N-nothing! Um, Taiyou this is Tsukishima, a... friend. Tsukishima, this is Taiyou, um--"

"-- His boyfriend."

"Taiyou!" Yamaguchi gasped in horror.

"What?" The raven-haired guy asked, innocently. "He's a friend right? So I don't think it'll be an issue, or is he homophobic or something?"

"No, no, it's okay. It's cool. I just... I'm just a bit surprised to know that Yamaguchi has a boyfriend now. We hadn't see each other for years after all." Tsukishima said, nonchalantly. But Yamaguchi knew better. Despite the long years they'd been away from each other, he still remember Tsukishima's attitude. He know Tsukishima like the back of his hand. And only he can do that.

A light of recognition flickered on this Taiyou guy's eyes, "Oh! I remember it now! I wondered why you look so familiar, you are that Tsukki! Oh, it's good to finally meet you! Little Tadashi here used to blabber things about you. He was so fascinated by you it almost made me jealous! Haha!"

Tsukishima looked at Yamaguchi who is clinging at Taiyou, eyes everywhere but Tsukishima.

Tsukishima's heart felt like it's being ripped inside his chest. Eight years ago, he was the one Yamaguchi is clinging into. He should be the one wrapping his arms around Yamaguchi.

But things are different now. And it hurt.

"I see."

"Nice to meet you Tsukishima-san. But we really have to go now, it's getting late."

"Oh, it's okay. Sorry for interrupting your night. Yamaguchi," he whispered his name one last time, "I really did miss you, you know? I'm relieved to see you're fine." He looked at the other guy, "It's nice to meet you too, Taiyou-san. Please take care of Yamaguchi for me."

Yamaguchi looked at him, his pretty eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I will."

And Tsukishima watched them as they walked away. He watched as Yamaguchi leave him again, taking a big part of Tsukishima with him. But this time, other man is holding him, taking him away from Tsukishima.  
He finally said his feelings to Yamaguchi.

But it's too late now.

He now has his sun.

He wouldn't need the moon anymore.


	2. When Two Souls Meet Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! This is my first work here on AO3 and I feel so welcomed. *wipes happy tears* Hi to all of you who can relate to me hating the KurooTsukki ship XD and to those who ship it.. well.. um.. please don't kill me *hides*

Yamaguchi Tadashi felt empty.

He never thought he would see Tsukishima again. And hell, did he missed him so much.

After so many years - 8 years to be exact, Tsukki was still the only person in the world that makes him feel this way.

And when Tsukishima hugged him earlier, he wanted to curl and cry and just melt right into his arms. He missed Tsukishima. His savior, his bestfriend, his everything.

_If only he could go back to his old life.._

"Tadashi?"

Taiyou's voice brought him back from his thoughts. He looked at him behind the steering wheel but didn't say anything.

"You okay?"

Tadashi didn't know how to respond to that so he just kept quiet. He tried to make a small smile though.

"Is it about _your Tsukki?_ Did he say anything to you?"

Tadashi shook his head. This shouldn't be a big deal anymore. He already left everything behind him. It was all in the past.

"I'm sorry, Taiyou."

Taiyou reached out and held his left hand. "It's okay little Tadashi. I understand."

_No you don't,_ Tadashi wanted to tell him but thought better against it. So he just squeezed Taiyou's hand instead.

*.*.*

Tsukishima couldn't sleep.

Meeting Yamaguchi had been his wish for a very long time, after all.

Yamaguchi had been in his arms. He had been within his reach and yet he let him go. And now he couldn't make him his again because someone is already holding him.

Oh, how he regretted every single thing he had done and what he hadn't done that caused Yamaguchi to drift away from him.

If only he can go back and change everything just so he would not lost Yamaguchi..

He heaved a heavy breath and rolled onto his back. He put his arms over his eyes and tried to shut the world off.

Tsukishima Kei never cry. But that night, tears fell from his eyes as his heart ached with the loss of his only love.

*.*.*

For years, Karasuno volleyball club has always been in touch. They meet occasionally to have a drink and talk about the latest happenings to their life.

They'd been best of friends since the beginning. And time just made their bond even more stronger.

And tonight, they were celebrating Takeda-sensei's birthday.

His and coach Ukai's bar and restaurant was closed for tonight's celebration. But that did not make the place any quieter, what's with the whole club messing around like teenagers again.

The only thing that changed is that they're now grown ups with works and responsibilities.. and of course, each of them now has their own lovers.

"'Twas really confusing I was nervous! There are so many buttons and next thing I knew, papers are going gwaaash! And then baam! So I went GAAAAH I almost fainted right there at the spot."

Hinata was telling them the first time he used the xerox machine in their office. Everyone laughed with his misfortune and animated storytelling.

Kageyama beside him grumbled, "You were such a dumbass you should have been thankful I was there to save you from being killed by mass of papers."

"Oh yeah? Right, thank you _honey boo boo_." Hinata teasingly said, playing Kageyama's chin with his fingertips.

Kageyama blushed, "I- I told you to stop calling me that!"

Tsukishima sipped his glass of wine while people around him cooed and laughed at the two lover's antics. Couples around him, he didn't feel like having fun right now or even make his usual snarky remarks.

An arm snaked around his shoulder and a familiar bald-headed face appeared on his right, "Hey Tsukishima! Why don't you smile? The night is still young to be so glum!"

"Right! What's the matter? Aren't ya happy to see us all?" Noya-san asked him on his left side, with his lover, Asahi-san beside him looming possessively as always.

"Nothing." He said while sighing even though he didn't want to talk. Even uttering a single word feels so hard to do with the lump in his throat and a heavy mass of despicable feelings in his heart.

He just wished his friends will leave him alone tonight. He only agreed on attending the celebration because as much as he hated to admit, these people had been an important part of his life and he already considers Takeda-sensei as his second parent.

Another reason is that he needed distraction. But Noya and Tanaka's questioning is doing the complete opposite.

Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai came back from the Kitchen, another set of food and drinks in hand.

Daichi-san eyed him from the right end of the booth, his chin resting on Suga's right shoulder. "You know Tsukishima.. You seemed gloomier than usual."

Nishinoya and Tanaka nodded animatedly.

"Yeah. What's wrong Tsukishima? Confide to us, your senpais!"

"Is it work? Trouble in paradise?"

_I can't even have my own paradise_.. Tsukishima thought sadly, Yamaguchi's image with that Taiyou guy marring him.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

He didn't want this. He didn't want to look vulnerable to everyone. He didn't want to be the end receiver of their pity. He didn't want to be pathetic.

He was about to stand up and walk out when Yachi-san who was sitting across him beside her long time girlfriend, Shimizu, speak up which made him froze.

"Um.. I don't know if I should say this right now but.. I.. I think I saw.. Y-yamaguchi-kun the other night.."

The loud commotion was suddenly gone, just to be replaced by the erratic beating of his heart.

Tsukishima opened his golden eyes and saw his old teammates looking at him and Yachi-san with different expressions on their faces. Confusion, shock.. understanding.

They know.

They connected the dots and finally know why Tsukishima was acting differently tonight.

This must be about Yamaguchi Tadashi's return, is what they all thought.

"What do you mean, Yachi?" Sugawara-san asked as calm as ever while the other crows still tries to consume Yachi's sudden declaration.

"Yeah! What do you mean?" Hinata leaned on the table to face Yachi-san. "I mean, when? Where? How? W-why? I mean.. I mean.. We haven't heard anything from him since the day he went away without telling us and mmmpph!"

"Shut up, Hinata." Kageyama scolded him, his large palm covering Hinata's loud mouth.

This was such a big news to the whole group. Eight years ago, Yamaguchi Tadashi just suddenly disappeared. One day, while on their usual practice session, Takeda-sensei told them that Yamaguchi will not be able to join them anymore.

He dropped all his subjects.

He even changed his address.

No one knew where he went. Even Tsukishima.

And then he was gone, just like that.

They never saw him ever again.

The whole Karasuno Volley ball team was worried about him. They even tried to search for him, but to no avail.

No clue. No news. No trace. No _anything_. Yamaguchi Tadashi was like a bubble that popped, gone in a blink of an eye from the face of the Earth. Just the memories of him left behind.

"Please explain what you said, Yachi." Daichi encouraged her. And then list of questions and comments were pointed at Yachi (mostly from Tanaka, Noya, and Hinata obviously) which made her fidget on her seat nervously.

"How was he? Isn't this good news?"

"What did he say? You should've invited him tonight!"

"Aww ~ I missed that freckled boy so much. He should've contacted us at least!"

"I'm gonna spike a ball at his face for making us worry for such a long time!"

"That's bad Hinata."

"So was leaving us without saying goodbye! That was mean!"

"He should've had a good, reasonable reason for leaving, right Yachi?"

"Please don't ask a lot of questions to her all at the same time. You're making her uncomfortable." Shimizu interjected, putting a protective arm around her girlfriend.

There was silence.

"Sorry." The over-energetic trio mumbled.

Ukai-san clapped his hands, drawing all attention to him. "Okay, one question at a time kids. I know this news is totally sudden, much less unexpected, that's why we are all over-excited but let's try to deal with this like adults, understand?"

A collection of mumbled okay and yes.

Ukai turned to Yachi, "Where did you see him?"

Everyone was quiet and all ears as Yachi recounted that fateful night he saw Yamaguchi.

She was fiddling with her fingers and appeared to be melting in Shimizu's arms, "I didn't actually got a chance to talk to him honestly. I just got out of a bookstore when I saw him. At first I thought I was just imagining things because - well, we didn't see him for such a long time and his physical features kinda changed just like everyone else did and he was with this guy and I was stunned for a moment and.. and next thing I knew they were out of sight."

There was a collective silence after that and Shimizu, being the dutiful girlfriend that she is, rubbed circles on Yachi's back effectively soothing the blonde lady.

"I'm sorry."

And that's it, everyone was out of their own bubble of thoughts, reassuring Yachi that they aren't mad at her for totally missing the chance of talking to their once-lost-but-now-returning-friend.

Tsukishima Kei however, was quiet throughout the episode; his mind in haywire and his heart a thumping mess.

_Someone saw Yamaguchi.. Yachi_.. She also saw _his_ dear Tadashi.. with Taiyou apparently. _They must have gone on a date_. He winched at the tiny ache on his chest.

"But don't worry!" Yachi's sudden cheerful voice made him look at her. "We'll see him again, I promise." She must have seen the look on Tsukishima's face because she smiled at him warmly he almost believed her words.

The key word being _almost_.

"Yeah sure. That's only happening if something as twisted as fate make you bump into him again." He snapped venomously before he even had the chance to stop himself. He felt a little bit guilty but tried to swallow an apology because he hated feeling helpless. It's like the whole universe conspires to make fun of him and his feelings, giving him false hopes only to crush his heart till it turn into sorry mass of powder.

Tanaka and Noya chastised him for being an asshole to Yachi who only gave him a knowing look.

"Well, in that case then Fate must be on our side this time."

His breath suddenly get rugged.

"That guy who's with Yamaguchi-kun that night.. I know him."

"..who?" His voice a hoarse whisper.

"He's Hasegawa Taiyou."

And in that moment, Tsukishima Kei was a total goner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still need some help with posting here on AO3. I didn't expect it to be - this - hard. Srsly. I don't know shit about HTML and this thing is making me go ASDFGHJKL. This is srsly hardwork. *crais


	3. We Want To But We Can't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited. Will put the html thingy soon.

What could you see? What could you find? If we meet please avert your eyes. What I'll never show, what you'll never find is explosive.. so hide your eyes.

\- The Love letter by Blaqk Audio

**

Hasegawa Taiyou.

Second son of Hasegawa Ichirou, the president of Hasegawa Group of Companies and he also had several foundations himself.

He speaks money, was born and lived in Japan for twenty years before he migrated to Europe.

He's intelligent, a fine gentleman with a hobby of exploring the world and though his name is literally carved in gold, he has a happy attitude and a humble aura in him.

Tsukishima Kei huffed in his seat, glaring at his computer screen. He's in his office doing research about this Taiyou guy.

Which, apparently, is a saint.

And it's making Kei more aggravated.

When Yachi told him about Hasegawa Taiyou's identity, he didn't expect this man to be this — Kei gritted his teeth — perfect.

Sure, he was impressed. But how on earth did Yamaguchi met this guy?

He googled some images of Hasegawa Taiyou and hundred different photos with the same face greeted him. Most of them was taken from fund raising events.

He was about to close the tab when one photo caught his vision. He clicked it and seconds later, two smiling faces appeared on his screen.

CEO, Mr. Hasegawa Taiyou and his friend, Yamaguchi Tadashi.

Says the caption.

It was a photo from an article of a foundation supporting animal welfare.

And the date states it was from 5 years ago.

Kei stared at it, leaning his back into his seat. His eyebrows furrowed in contemplation.

Yamaguchi was in Europe with Taiyou all this time?

**

Weeks after meeting Tsukishima, Yamaguchi Tadashi is now doing perfectly fine. He moved on, like that night is just a mundane thing that will soon be a passing memory in his head, gone and forgotten.

He totally forgot about it.

Or so he tries to convince himself.

Because everytime he closes his eyes, bespectacled pair of golden eyes always stares back at him.

The warmth of Tsukishima's hug seemed to seep through every pore of his skin, the ghost of it haunting him.

And his voice.. Oh his voice.. the sound of it a beautiful harmony in Yamaguchi's ears.

That time, Tsukishima sounded so warm, happy and surprised but the slight whisper of fear was there, like he's scared of scaring Yamaguchi, scared of him to walk away again.

And he said he loved him.

God, he uttered the words, and it was directed at Yamaguchi.

He wanted to cry but tried his best to swallow it down.

Because he can't.

Tsukishima can't love Yamaguchi.

Their's is like a twisted serious case of right love gone oh so wrong.

He heaved a heavy breath and leaned on the counter. He shouldn't have agreed on coming back to this place.

Now the consequences of everything he had done is coming right back at him to slap him in the face.

He swallowed a gasp when pair of arms slid around his waist and pulled him against a hard chest. He relaxed though, then threw his head back and rest it on the shoulder in his back and chuckled when the taller man nuzzled the side of his neck.

"Morning, babe."

Yamaguchi looked at his side and smiled at him, "Morning."

"Mm.. I see you're busy."

"I made you breakfast."

Taiyou's hold of him tightened, practically squeezing him fondly and swayed them side by side. "As sweet as ever, My Little Tadashi."

He turned around and wound his arms around Taiyou's neck. He beamed, "I live to pamper you."

Hands still wrapped around his waist, Taiyou kissed his forehead "And I live to love.." then his lips "and make you happy."

"I know. And I thank you for that."

He buried his face on Taiyou's chest, the man's steady heartbeat a soft lullaby for Yamaguchi's soul. It calmed his nerves like it always did for years and Yamaguchi's grateful for it.

Eight years ago, Tsukishima had been his moon — the only light he had amidst the darkness that filled his life.

But like Tsukishima, Taiyou saved him too.

He was his sun — the one who peeked through dark clouds and brought rays of light and warmth to his life.

Taiyou reached to hold both his wrists, spun him around and put both his hands on top of Yamaguchi's shoulder. "As much as I want to cuddle with you all day Little Tadashi, I don't want to waste your effort."

He led him to the table where sunny side up eggs, hotdogs and garlic fried rice which Yamaguchi diligently cooked with plates and utensils neatly placed atop. Taiyou pulled a chair for him and then sat across him.

"Let's eat." He beamed before wolfing down the foods Yamaguchi prepared, the sight of it making the freckled man's heart swell in delight.

In that moment, Yamaguchi realized one crucial thing.

Tsukishima may be his everything, but he's also his past.

And Taiyou is his present.

All that he's needed to do now is to focus on that.

A future with Taiyou.

**

"Are you going to visit your father again?"

Taiyou looked back at him in the mirror while he's doing his neck tie, Yamaguchi sitting on the edge of their bed. "Yes. Father and nii-san wants to introduce me to some investors on a lunch meeting." He spun around and leaned back on the dresser, hands on both sides "Do you wanna go?"

Yamaguchi flopped on his back and spread his arms beside him "Nah.. You know business isn't my thing."

The bed creaked softly from an additional weight when Taiyou crawled on top of him, smiling.

"I know." He reached out to gently brush Yamaguchi's hair away from his face with his fingers. "They're going to talk about boring business stuffs and I don't want you to suffer there with me." He grinned owning a chuckle from Yamaguchi.

"You're gonna ruin your suit."

Taiyou edged back and settled on Yamaguchi's thighs, his knees on either sides "'Tis okay. I actually don't want to be there to be honest."

Yamaguchi pushed up, leaning on his elbows. He bent his head on the side cutely. "Hmm.. Maybe I can go with you today? We can get bored together."

Taiyou smiled at him, his eyes twinkling. "Or you go with me, wait for me at the café and then we can go anywhere you want." He bowed down to kiss his lips.

"I.. kinda want to visit mom today.."

Taiyou's eyes gleamed understanding, "No problem."

He got off from him and reached out his hand to Yamaguchi "Let's go?"

**

Yamaguchi savored the coolness of the cup of Strawberry Milkshake between his palms. The warmth of the afternoon sun that seeped through the leaves of the tree he was underneath is a good contrast to it.

He sighed quietly and leaned back on the bench he was sitting. He looked up in the sky. The clouds are high and the mixtures of white and blue is calming his nerves.

He likes quiet moments like this; though part of him wants to share it with Taiyou.

But the man is on a lunch meeting at the moment. Taiyou insisted that Yamaguchi wait in the café at the lobby or in a hotel or in his father or brother's office for him to be comfortable but Yamaguchi refused.

He doesn't want to impose.

He's in good terms with Taiyou's family - they did had a hard time accepting Yamaguchi, yes, but Taiyou didn't give up on him until they accept him into their family - but this place is definitely not his territory.

Yamaguchi is still Yamaguchi no matter what. He's still that simple guy and all those elegant furnitures and people in suits are making him nervous and suffocated.

So he chose to be alone in the mini garden at the back of the building. He entertained himself by looking at the landscape around him, butterflies and birds flying and singing ancient tunes and the soft puff of afternoon wind lulling him.

A sizeable canteen for the employees stood before him. He busied himself by observing people.

They look so busy, like every second of their lives is counted and cannot be wasted.

He feels out of place.

But his life is in Europe.

Surely, he doesn't have lots of friends there (he didn't really need lots, just few people that are true to him and Taiyou), but his work is there.

And he love his life there.

Quiet, happy, and away from his haunting past.

Taiyou gave him another life.

His quiet thoughts were disturbed by a sudden yelp. He looked around and saw a petite blonde woman on her knees at the paved back entrance of the building with tumbled boxes and papers around her.

Seconds later Yamaguchi is on his heels, running to help the woman.

"Are you okay, miss?"

The woman is still kneeling on the floor reaching around for her stuff. "I'm fine. Oh my god I'm sorry."

He collected the papers and magazines and put them inside the box. When he's sure enough that he's put them all, he stood up hugging the box with him and turned around to the woman who's also finished putting her stuff in the box.

"Uhm.. Do you need help? Where are you headed? I can help you carry these. They're too big for one person."

The woman stood up with her box, and looked at Yamaguchi. When their eyes met, Yamaguchi gasped and golden eyes looked back at him wide eyed.

"Y-y-yamaguchi-kun!?"

Yamaguchi dropped the box.

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you already guess Yama's past? *wiggle eyebrows*


	4. Old Friend

Yachi can't take her eyes off Yamaguchi.

She wasn't even blinking.

She was afraid the moment she closes her eyes even for a mere second, Yamaguchi will vanish again, disappearing into thin air, nowhere to be found.

She can't believe this is happening right now.

She wasn't expecting to meet Yamaguchi at her workplace. Sure, she knows that he's somehow connected to his bosses now because of his boyfriend, Mr. Hasegawa but the chances of them meeting again was so low she was left perturbed on her seat.

Besides, what she was expecting is for Tsukishima to make his moves after she told him everything she knew about Hasegawa Taiyou.

Not this.

This feels like the Fates are toying with them, playing with their destinies and crisscrossing their paths together.

But of course, deep down inside Yachi, she was glad to see Yamaguchi again. Eight years had been long enough for her to miss the once young boy he called her friend.

"How are you Yamaguchi-kun?"

She saw him fiddle on his seat awkwardly. After he helped her carry her boxes to her office booth, she pushed her luck and invited the man to lunch.

Now they're on the gazebo sharing Yachi's bento.

"I'm- I'm good. I'm fine." He smiled nervously. "How about you Yachi?"

She picked a cherry tomato, "Life's tough but I'm great!" She pouted as she munched the little tomato. "Piles of paperworks here, overdue designs there and couple of overtimes yes.. however, I'm happy with what I'm doing so it's fine!"

"I thought you want to be a fashion designer just like your mom. Then why are you in an advertising company?"

On his face is a genuine expression of confusion she beamed at him, "Yes! I will, someday. For now, this is fine. I just need a little more time to start my own clothing line."

Yamaguchi just nodded nibbling his rice ball. Yamaguchi kept on glancing her way nervously she's also starting to feel awkward.

This isn't good.

She was thinking of what to say when Yamaguchi raised a surprised eyebrow at him.

"You're married?"

"Hm?"

She looked at her left hand Yamaguchi was eyeing. She smiled and fondly caresses the ring on her finger, "Nope. This is just a promise ring but I treat this as a wedding ring."

"So.. Who's...?"

"I'm together with Shimizu."

Yamaguchi's eyes widened modestly. "Oh."

"Yeah.." Yachi felt her cheeks warm up.

"Wow." She saw his lips curled up in an easy smile, "I mean, wow. I kind of thought you two would be cute together but.. wow. Congratulations Yachi."

She giggled. "Thanks."

"I'm glad that you two worked it out well after all these years."

"Well yeah. It isn't just us though. Ukai-san and Takeda-sensei are partners now. They got married on a civil wedding. Daichi-san and Suga-san are planning on getting married too; they're engaged. Noya-san and Asahi-san are living together. And then Hinata and Kageyama and Tanaka-san and Ennoshita-san."

"Gee. Really? That's.. really.. something. I'm happy for every one of you."

_Well Yeah.. Not everyone's happy though. Tsukishima-kun's the only single now amongst us._

Yachi bit her tongue to stop herself from saying things that would surely make everything uncomfortable again. She should be careful not to step on a landmine now that Yamaguchi has already showed her small smiles.

So she just grinned back at him.

"So, what do you do now Yamaguchi-kun?"

"Hm?" He sipped the last remaining of his strawberry milkshake before answering her. "I'm a doctor now. I took up Veterinary Medicine."

Now it was Yachi's turn to stare at Yamaguchi.

"Wow. Really?!" Yamaguchi smiled sheepishly, faint blush coloring his cheeks.

"..Yeah." Yamaguchi brushed the tip of his nose with his finger. "Is.. Is it weird?"

"What? W-wha-No! Why would you think that?"

"Well.." He shrugged.

"It's not weird okay? I'm just.. I'm just a bit surprised. Didn't know you love animals."

"Animals seem more tolerable than humans. For me at least." He said, owning a giggle from Yachi.

"Now you're talking." She grinned mischievously at the freckled lad. _"Yamaguchi-sensei."_

Yamaguchi crumpled a random tissue on their table and threw it to Yachi's direction. "Oh shut it." He playfully snapped, grinning back at her.

"Hey!"

They both laughed and Yachi was thankful that she get to finally make Yamaguchi comfortable with her presence. Unlike earlier that he seems like a wounded animal ready to flight when he sense danger.

They finished Yachi's bento after that and sat there comfortably and talked about a lot of things. They mused over the things they did when they were still in high school and laughed at the silly things they would remember.

Yachi carefully told things that happened to them whilst Yamaguchi was gone. She was cautious not to scare Yamaguchi just in case she said something that would turn him off. Yachi virtually sighed in relief when Yamaguchi started to open up a bit to her in return albeit warily.

In the middle of their tête-à-tête, Yamaguchi's phone started them both when it rang and Yamaguchi excused himself. Few minutes later, he came back eyes shining that Yachi took advantage to tease him a little bit.

"Boyfriend called?" She nudged his sides making him yelp slightly. She chuckled.

Yamaguchi splattered and blush, "What?!"

"Oh come on. You don't have to deny it."

He averted his eyes. "Um.. Yes."

Yachi silently squealed and leaned closer to him. She knew she shouldn't be all giddy since she was rooting for Tsukishima and all, but hey, she's just a girl and a girl can fangirl even for a moment right?

"So... How long have you been.. together?"

"Uh.. Six years?"

She gaped. "Six years!?"

"..Yeah."

"Wow. That's long."

"Heh. You're one to talk. How long have you been together with Kiyoko-san huh?"

"Fine. Point taken."

Yamaguchi made a non-committal hum.

"How did you two met though?" she asked with genuine curiosity.

However, this simple question still made Yamaguchi fidget on his seat slightly Yachi almost winced. Wrong move there Yachi.

"Um.." Yamaguchi began.

"Y..you don't really have to answer that. If uh.. you know.. it makes you uncomfortable or anything. It's fine. I understand."

Yamaguchi looked down, taking a sudden interest on his fiddling thumbs. "I'm sorry."

Yachi put a reassuring hand on Yamaguchi's shoulder. "No problem buddy. Totally fine." She smiled at him when he looked up at her.

An awkward silence filled the air. Yachi wanted to smack her head on the cemented table in front of her for ruining everything.

Obviously, she walked in on a guarded territory she wasn't allowed to step in.

But she totally understand. If Yamaguchi doesn't want to speak yet, she wouldn't ask anymore. There's just some things that are not share-able.

Yet.

Few moments later, a familiar tall man with raven-hair peeked on them at the gazebo. His happy face offering them a beautiful and warm smile.

Yachi straightened up and bowed politely.

"Good afternoon Hasegawa-sama."

Even his laugh was beautiful Yachi can't stop herself from blushing.

Taiyou brushed her off, "No need to be all formal to me. I'm not your boss."

"B-but.."

"No buts." He said, stopping Yachi from her protest. He ruffled Yamaguchi's hair instead making the latter glare straight at him. He winked at Yamaguchi. "And besides, every friend Tadashi has is also my friend."Yachi was practically speechless.

"Um." Yamaguchi stood up between them, "Yachi you probably know him already. He's Taiyou. Um.."

"His boyfriend." Taiyou offered. Yamaguchi blushed. "Aww. You don't have to blush everytime I say that word you know. You cute little being." He chuckled as he playfully pinched both Yamaguchi's cheeks.

Yachi giggled.

Poor Yamaguchi blushed redder than a ripe tomato.

Yachi and Taiyou both laughed.

"I hate you both." Yamaguchi hissed. And glared at his boyfriend. "Shut up." Taiyou's laugh ceased to chuckles, his grin still present on his handsome face.

"This is Yachi." Yamaguchi continued on introducing them, "An old friend. We're on the same club back in highschool."

Taiyou shook Yachi's hand. "Nice to meet you Yachi."

"N-nice to meet you too um H-hase-"

"Taiyou's fine. Hasegawa is my dad."

Yachi was still uneasy calling the youngest son of her boss in his name so she just made a non-committal sound.

"Anyways.." Taiyou threw Yamaguchi a meaningful look.

"Oh. Right. I'm sorry Yachi but we have to go now."

"Ah! Yes! I understand."

They made their farewell. Both men were already starting to walk back when Yachi remembered something. She reached out and held Yamaguchi's wrist. He stopped and looked back at her.

"Um. Sorry. It's just um.." she shifted her weight on her left foot. "Next month. Ukai-san and Takeda-sensei's gonna celebrate their 5th wedding anniversary. Are you.. uh.. I mean.. Do you wanna.. come?"

Yamaguchi stared at her for a few seconds.

"But.. I'm not invited?"

"You are!" her voice came out a bit fast and high she herself winced, "I mean, the only reason you aren't is because they don't know how to contact you. But.. now.." She trailed off, her eyes almost begging.

Yamaguchi looked up at Taiyou beside him. Yachi wasn't sure if that look was a silent ask for permission or if he was pleading for help.

Taiyou just squeezed Yamaguchi's arm.

Her friend looked at him.

"I'll.. I'll think about it."

She sighed and nodded. It was better than a decline at least. She - ah no, scratch that. They were given a chance no matter how small, to see him again.


	5. When The Past Haunts The Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slight glimpse to Yamaguchi's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of violence and some (just a tiny bit) gore. Because Gore is ❤ lol //stabbed

Yamaguchi stared at the gravestone where his mom's name was engraved.

It's been years since he last visited this place.

He missed everything that was his mom.

Her laugh, her smiles, her warmth whenever she envelopes her tiny arms around little Tadashi, her cooking, and most especially, her voice.

During those nights when Yamaguchi have a nightmare, he will find himself longing for his mom's soft sweet whisper of love and protection.

Oh how he wished she was still with him.

If she didn't die, his life probably turned out _differently._

He looked back over his shoulders and saw Taiyou leaning on his car just a few feet away from him -- the man insisted to give him privacy -- and his heart started to gripe.

If his mom was still here, everything would turn out differently…

_He wouldn't meet Taiyou._

He shook his head and look again to his Mom's grave.

He made a smile and clapped his hands together and closed his eyes. He said a little prayer before he felt warm hands on his shoulder.

"You okay?"

Taiyou settled beside him, his arm on top of Yamaguchi's shoulder reassuringly. Yamaguchi was grateful for the gesture because if it wasn't for Taiyou's comforting presence, he would have broke down already.

"Yeah." Yamaguchi nodded and shrank onto Taiyou's body "It's just.. It's been awhile."

"It's been years. I'm sorry if it was because of me that you couldn't get the chance to visit your mom."

"You shouldn't be." he squeezed Taiyou's hand on his shoulder and looked at him straight in the eye. Taiyou's been nothing but good to him. He's got nothing to be sorry for. "I went to England with you in my own decision. You didn't force me. You are my home and I want to be with you so I'll follow you until the ends of the Earth."

Taiyou leaned down and kissed him, slow and sweet. He was always gentle with him, but never did he feel fragile and broken. Instead, he felt loved and cherished and Yamaguchi's heart swelled in happiness because all his life, he only has dark voids in his life and Tsukki.

Tsukki… his only source of light and warmth during _those_ days…

Yamaguchi closed his eyes so tight he started to see dark spots at the back of his eyes. He should not do this. It wasn't fair to think about the other guy when Taiyou was here, holding him securely.

He's been doing that a lot lately he realized. And God, did that make him feel so utterly guilty. His comeback and the inevitable meeting with Tsukki and Yachi has been bothering him since.

Which was not good in any sense. If this continues, he was gonna hurt himself, and worse, Taiyou too. And that's the last thing that Yamaguchi want to happen.

To be the cause of Taiyou's pain.

**

They were sitting there, on a bench under a big old tree just a few meters away from his Mom's grave when he saw _him._

Yamaguchi felt like a huge tub of cold ice was poured into his soul and then he went numb. He can no longer feel the soft brush of Taiyou's fingers through his hair or hear the quiet hum of the afternoon breeze due to the ringing in his ears.

He paled.

This can't be real.

This can't be happening.

But as he stared at the man in front of them, he was so sure that he wasn't mistaken.

That surely was that man.

The man he and his mom trusted.

And the man who ruined everything he had.

He wanted to run and pull Taiyou with him but goddamnit he can't move!

Taiyou doesn't seem to have noticed the man too since his eyes were closed, a contented smile pasted on his lips. In other situation, Yamaguchi would find him and this moment so beautiful. But not now. His heart was beating so hard inside his chest he wondered if he would die from heart attack.

And then the man looked at him. Those familiar, sinister eyes stared at Yamaguchi. Slowly, the man's lips curled in a dangerous smile. Yamaguchi's eyes widened in horror when he saw the man lifted his hand.

He had a gun.

Yamaguchi didn't had the time to think about anything when he heard a loud _bang!_ and the splattering of gore everywhere.

On his face. On his shaking hands. On his thigh, on the ground, everywhere.

He looked at Taiyou.

Yamaguchi screamed and cry.

He couldn't believe this. He pulled Taiyou's dead body closer to him and hugged him.

_Taiyou's still warm! I should call an ambulance! Taiyou! Taiyou please wake up!_

But it's over. Taiyou's already dead.

_Dead._

Yamaguchi lifted his hands from Taiyou's head. It was gory. The back of Taiyou's head was missing from the impact of the bullet. Blood was pouring down from it no matter how hard he tried to cover it and all Yamaguchi could do was just cry and scream his heart out.

Then the man grabbed his hair and pulled him up, causing him to drop Taiyou's body on the ground like a rag doll.

Yamaguchi squirmed and thrashed around until he felt the man's hard fist on his stomach. He doubled over, feeling an excruciating pain in his body.

Then a sudden rush of old fears and pains hit him hard.

He suddenly felt so exhausted, dread and weariness sucking out all of his will.

He was already tired.

Physically and emotionally.

His body sagged, knees on the ground and let the man pull his hair back again so he was looking up at him.

He would never forget this face.

The face of his nightmare.

And now, the face of his death.

"Think you can escape me huh, stupid cunt?" His voice was just like how Yamaguchi remember it; cold and menacing. Yamaguchi glared at the man, trying to be stubborn. This man will kill him anyways. If not now, then maybe this man will bring him back to his hellish life that all will be left for Yamaguchi was the thought of killing himself.

At least with this, he would die fighting.

"Fuck you! I'm going to kill you and send you to hell you fucker!"

Yamaguchi tried to fight but this man was just too strong. He wanted to kill him. For ruining his life, for killing Taiyou.

_What did I do to deserve this?_

The man's wicked laugh boomed through Yamaguchi's ears, mocking him. "You what? Kill _me?_ You are so funny _bitch._ What would you do? Run away and get help from those fuckers again?" The man leaned down to him, Yamaguchi could practically smell his stinking scent. "You are _nothing_ but a fucking _hole_ Tadashi. A fucking _cunt._ No matter where you are, I will find you. You can't escape me." The man hissed against his ears.

"Nooooo!" Yamaguchi thrashed with all his might. He pushed the man away from him and tried to run but the bastard caught his foot causing him to fall down. The man rolled him onto his back to slap him multiple times, chanting cruel words to Yamaguchi.

_"Cunt!"_

_"Bitch!"_

_"Nooo!"_

_"Faggot!"_

_"Let me go!"_

_"..guchi!"_

_"Fuck hole!"_

"Yamaguchi!"

A hard slap on his face made Yamaguchi open his eyes and gasped. He blinked when instead of the gory scene, all he sees was a room.

_His room._

And then he felt someone hugging him, whispering words of comfort and safety.

_Taiyou._

Yamaguchi cried.

"Shush baby, it's alright. It's just a nightmare. Nothing's real. It's okay now, I got you. I got you babe."

"He killed you! Taiyou, _he_ killed _you!_ He will find us! He will find _you!_ " Yamaguchi was getting hysterical.

Taiyou pulled away and caught Yamaguchi's face between his palms. His warmth was slowly calming Yamaguchi.

"I'm alive. See? That was just a bad dream. _He's _the one who's _dead._ He wouldn't be able to find us. His remains are nothing but a lump of bones now. He couldn't harm us. Tadashi listen to me," Taiyou lifted his crying face and forced him to look directly at his eyes where big tears are pouring down from. "I wouldn't let anyone hurt you _again._ I promised to protect you, remember? Don't you trust me?"__

__Yamaguchi sniffed like a little child, his heart finally calming down. He wiped his tears away and wrapped his arms around Taiyou's neck and buried his face against it._ _

__Taiyou's alive. It was just a bad dream._ _

__"I trust you with my life Taiyou."_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Advance Happy birthday Tsukki xoxo


	6. Oh Crap We Meet Again. Must be Fate Huh?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title says it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited. Didn't do the html thingy. Because I'm doing the ninja mode because I'm using my internship's wifi HAHAHAHA /slapped/

**

"Tsukki.. Are you okay?"

Soft young voice laced with innocent concern shook Tsukishima out of his reverie. He's at his house on a Saturday night with Sora, his 5 year old nephew. Akiteru was on a trip with his wife, while their parents were out of town too and will be back on Monday so his brother asked for his help to look after the boy for a few days.

He blinked at the screen of his phone. He's been staring at it since he received the message from Yachi, making sure that he wasn't mistaken.

From: Hitoka Yachi  
Subject: KYAAAAAAHHHH ＼(≧▽≦)／❤

You need to know this Tsukishima-kun! I just received a text from Yamaguchi-kun confirming his attendance for next month's celebration of Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei's wedding anniversary! Oh my God! This is it!

PS: sorry if I sounded creepy or something. I'm just happy for you. Good night. (//▽//)

-

Tsukishima doesn't know how to react, much less what to feel.

He wanted to be happy; hell, he was happy. It's just that his pessimistic side is resurfacing again as per usual. It was telling him things that Tsukishima doesn't like even in the slightest, practically spoiling his mood.

But the thought of seeing Yamaguchi again.. God, Tsukishima's heart was pounding excitedly.

He closed his phone and looked at his nephew. He already got past of his issues with his brother a long time ago. He was genuinely happy for Akiteru and Tsukishima really love Akiteru's boy. He nodded and pulled the boy closer. He ruffled Sora's head and tucked the young boy beneathe his arms.

"Ow Tsukki! Bad!" Tsukishima almost laughed at Sora's little pout. The boy had a great dislike when it comes to people touching his blond hair.

Tsukishima Soraru almost looked like him. He has a messy golden hair and his eyes were big and auric. But he wasn't wearing eyeglasses (Tsukishima's making sure he's taking good care of his eyes) and has this cute little beauty mark on the left side of the bridge of his nose.

The only thing that bothers him is his nephew's nickname for him.

Tsukki..

It was weird. Tsukishima practically freaked out when Sora called him 'Tsukki' the first time. It was just a simple stumble of the tongue when the boy suddenly giggled, finding the name cute and funny, until it was stuck.

It sent little twinges somewhere in his chest whenever Sora calls him that. The innocent name brings back both sad and beautiful memories, leaving Tsukishima nearly breathless.

He already talked to Sora actually -- to stop calling him that. But the kid was stubborn; he got that attitude from Akiteru, Tsukishima swears. Though Akiteru himself thinks other wise. His son was a carbon copy of his younger brother -- from the looks to his attitude -- but thank the heavens Sora was a ball of happiness.

"Isn't it cool? I'm Sora, then you're Tsukki. It's like we're partners now Uncle!"

So Tsukishima learned how to get used to it. How his heart recognizes the familiar name but now with a different voice and with different emphasis.

"It's getting late. You need to sleep now." Tsukishima stood up from the couch and turned off the television.

"It's a Saturday, uncle. Dad let's me sleep later than usual during weekends."

"I'm not your Dad."

The little boy crossed his arms stubbornly causing Tsukishima to raise an eyebrow, "You're no fun Tsukki! Here I thought you were awesome. Obviously I was fooled." He clutched his chest in a mock hurt.

Tsukishima laughed. One thing that he also loved about his nephew. He makes Tsukishima laugh.

"Idiot." Tsukishima shook his head fondly. "You need to sleep, else you won't grow tall and you're just gonna turn a midget forever."

Sora's big eyes widen and was about to open his little mouth to protest but Tsukishima beat him to it, "I'll take you wherever you want tomorrow."

"You will?!"

"Yeah."

"Yey!" Sora stood up and bounced on the couch, "will you treat me food too?"

"Sure."

"Awesome!"

Tsukishima was quick to catch Sora when the boy suddenly jumped to leap to him. This boy needs serious talking about pulling dangerous stunts.

"Come now Tsukki! Let's get to bed! We need sleep!"

Tsukishima rolled his eyes at that and walked to his room whilst carrying Sora without a word.

***

Tsukishima doesn't want kids.

Seriously.

When he was younger, he never saw himself as a father type of guy. He never even saw himself being with a girl, or with anyone for that matter and so the thought of having little Kei's never crossed his mind.

Kids are annoying, obnoxious little evils and they cry a lot.

But for some reason, Tsukishima found Soraru a bit.. tolerable.

(Or maybe he was just being biased).

The kid was cool. And smart. He was so small Tsukishima can squish him so easily and yet his level of energy was so high it's like he have sugar rush every day.

Tsukishima likes the boy. A lot. Tsukishima's practically a doting uncle.

Huh! Who would have thought?

This was probably Tsukishima's greatest secret.

"Come on Tsukki! Let's go! You're so slow! Are old people always like that?"

"What did you just call me young man?"

Sora tittered, "Oh no, nothing uncle. I said you're awesome and perfect and-- can we just go? I'm already dying to go to the park!"

"Is your phone on your pocket?" Tsukishima asked instead.

"Yes!"

"Your bracelet?"

The boy sighed impatiently but brought his hands up, his silver bracelet jingling a reassuring sound. It was a small silver chain with a silver metal plate with Soraru's name on it and Tsukishima's contact at the back. It was some kind of a name tag or something that Tsukishima let the kid wear whenever they go out. Just in case Soraru got lost, at least he'll have a way of knowing how to contact them.

Better than nothing right? Tsukishima's just being cautious.

And with that, Tsukishima opened the child lock of his car and Sora jumped out of it even before Tsukishima can open the door on his side.

He double checked the locks of his car before he went after Sora. They were on a local park. It was a good place for people with kids because the management made sure that the whole place is child friendly and child proofed.

It was still a little early so there aren't so many people yet. Tsukishima settled on a bench just close enough to still see Sora on the playground playing with other kids.

An hour later and Sora doesn't seem to be getting bored of swinging here and jumping there yet so Tsukishima took advantage of it and stood to buy food for them.

But he almost dropped the plastic bags full of foods when he came back and Sora was missing.

***

Yamaguchi just finished walking with Kirara. She was a golden retriever and he loves her so much. He found her when he and Taiyou was still in Europe. Kirara was a stray and Yamaguchi's heart wept for her and so he adopted her. He took good care of her and now, Kirara was Yamaguchi's baby.

They were at a more isolated part of the park, sitting on a bench just under a humongous tree, taking in the fresh air and the cool shade of the tree. Yamaguchi and Kirara frequents here every weekends. A lot of dog owners go in here to walk with their pets because this place was huge and beautiful and just so perfect to stroll around.

He had his eyes close for a few minutes when he felt a light tugging on his hands from Kirara's collar. When he opened his eyes, he saw a kid staring wide eyed at Kirara.

Yamaguchi smiled, "Do you want to touch her?"

The boy looked up to him, his golden eyes were brimming with genuine excitement, "Can I?"

"Sure. Come, she doesn't bite. Kirara, meet a friend."

The boy took a few tentative steps before he crouched low and reached out a hand. Kirara stared at it cautiously first, sniffing the small hands before she finally poke the boy's hand with her nose. The boy practically beamed, he was grinning big that Yamaguchi find himself grinning too (it was contagious).

The boy giggled and finally rubbed Kirara's head with enthusiasm. "Hi Kirara! I'm Sora! Nice to meet you!"

"Sora, that's a nice name."

"Thank you."

Wow. This boy was cute and he's also polite. His parents sure knows how to raise a good kid.

"She's so pretty." The boy said in awe, Yamaguchi's heart swelled with pride.

"Why, thank you Sora."

Sora wrapped his arms around Kirara in a hug. "I wish I have a dog too."

"Why don't you?"

"Dad said I need to be more responsible if I want a dog of my own. Animals have life too and taking care of them shouldn't be taken so lightly."

Oh.

"Your dad has a point."

"I know."

Oh.

This boy is really something.

"Oh yeah! What's your name by the way?" The boy straightened up and sat beside him on the bench just behind Kirara. He can't seem to take his hands off of her because he's still ruffling Kirara's fur sofly.

"Ah, I'm Tadashi. Nice to meet you Sora."

"Nice to meet you too Tadashi."

Yamaguchi looked at the boy. He was really cute. His hair and eyes were gold and his smiles are big. It was like the boy was illuminating.

"Do you always go here, Tadashi?"

"Yeah. We've been going here every weekends since we came here. We're originally from Europe."

"Really? Wow. Must be nice."

Yamaguchi just smiled.

"You're on a vacation?"

"Kinda."

Sora hummed in response. He was looking at Tadashi like he's inspecting something until his eyes lit up.

"Hoshi.."

Huh?

He brought his right hand up, poking Yamaguchi's cheek tentatively with his index finger. Yamaguchi stiffened and just stared at the curious boy. Sora's little finger brushed across Yamaguchi's cheeks.

"Stars! You've got stars on your face!"

Oh.

Yamaguchi was caught off guard when little hands cupped his face and brought him closer to the boy in a close inspection. He spotted a little mole on the boy's nose.

"This is awesome!" His big auric eyes were twinkling happily like he'd really seen real stars. The genuineness was fascinating.

"That's freckles, Sora." Yamaguchi corrected with a fond tone in his voice.

"Ooh. They're beautiful."

Yamaguchi looked away, feeling his cheeks blush.

Sora laughed.

"Did you just blush? You look like a strawberry!"

Oh my god. This kid is cute but this is really embarrassing! Yamaguchi wanted to hide his face in his hands but Sora find inspecting his face so amusing.

Then the kid's phone started to ring.

Oh thank gods!

"Oh shoot. Excuse me."

Yamaguchi just smiled and watched him as he answered his phone.

***

Tsukishima was starting to panic.

He can't see his nephew anywhere near the playground. He had asked Sora's playmates earlier but no one notice the boy walked away.

Where had he gone? That damn brat! I'm gonna put a leash around his little neck when I see him!

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Soraru's phone. His heart was pounding hard while he waited the ringing phone to be picked up.

He almost stopped breathing when Sora's young voice answered.

"Uncle?"

"Soraru! What did I told you about--"

"I found him uncle!"

"What?"

"The Star! I found him!"

The star? What the hell is this brat talking about?

"Listen, little brat. I don't know what you mean-- I don't care. Tell me where you are right now."

Tsukishima made sure that he sounded authority. Sora needs to learn how to behave. He nearly gave Tsukishima a heart attack.

"I'm at the dog park." Tsukishima can practically hear him pouting, "see that big old tree? I'm there."

Tsukishima felt his heart calming down already, "Okay kid. Look, I'm sorry I snapped. You made me worry."

"I know Uncle. I'm sorry I went without telling you."

"You should be."

"I'm really sorry."

"I heard you. But you're not forgiven until I see you and tell that to me properly. Don't hang up the phone, wait for me there. Don't move."

Tsukishima walked with long strides, almost running. The dog park was just on the right side of the playground. It was the part of the park with small hills and Bermuda grasses which made it suitable to be a dog park. He easily spotted the biggest tree with lanes of benches. He saw his nephew standing at the distance.

"Uncle!"

Tsukishima leaned down to accept his running nephew in a crushing hug. Oh thank the heavens nothing bad happened to the boy. Tsukishima was relieved.

"I'm so sorry Tsukki. Please don't be mad."

Tsukishima pulled away and pinched his nephew's nose.

"Ow ow ow!"

Tsukishima grinned, "That's for making me worry you little brat."

Sora was cupping his aching nose, "I said I'm sorry."

"Okay, you're forgiven. But don't do that again." Tsukishima stood up and held Sora's hand. "let's go."

"Wait." Sora stopped him. He pulled Tsukishima to the benches. "I told you I met someone."

"Someone?" Sora nodded, beaming up to him enthusiastically.

Tsukishima almost tripped when he saw who Sora was talking about. It was clear from the other person's face that he too was surprised.

"Tsukki?"

***

After a moment of dumbly staring at each other with a curious kid in between looking up at them, Tsukishima broke the awkward silence.

"Yamaguchi.."

After that unexpected meeting with Yamaguchi on a cold evening, he never saw the guy again. But that doesn't mean he never thought of him every single day. In fact, Yamaguchi was all Tsukishima could think of these past few weeks.

And now he's here in front of Tsukishima. So close.. so freaking close, just enough for Tsukishima to reach out and pull him in his arms.. and never let him go ever again.

Huh. Who was I kidding? He mentally shook his head.

"Ah! Tsukki!" He watched as Yamaguchi's facial expression twisted as if berating himself mentally. "Sorry. Old habit."

It took two seconds before Tsukishima understood why Yamaguchi was apologizing to him and then it hit him: the nickname.

"It's fine. I don't mind." He deadpanned. He can't let him see that he was hurting inside.

"Uncle, you know Tadashi?" Sora tugged the hem of Tsukishima's shirt. The taller blond looked down on him, and then at Yamaguchi before he answered, never leaving the freckled's eyes.

"Yes. We were old friends."

"Oh! He's already your friend and he's the one I'm telling you on the phone too Tsukki! And he also calls you 'Tsukki'! This is really cool!" Sora beamed.

Yamaguchi's beautiful face showed confusion. "'Tsukki'?"

Tsukishima for the life of him can't help but blush. Damn brat! Shut your big mouth!

"He uh, yeah, he likes to call me that--"

"Yes! Because I'm the sky and uncle is the moon! And now you're the star!"

"Wha--"

Tsukishima covered Sora's little talkative mouth before he can say more embarrassing things. By now Yamaguchi and Tsukishima are both blushing, their cheeks a good shade of red.

"Don't mind him. Kids these days are just--"

Tsukishima's nervous mumbling -- dammit -- was cut off by Yamaguchi's laugh. It was such a beautiful sound and Tsukishima can't help but stare at Yamaguchi's blissful state. He waited until the guy calmed down, wiping happy tears off his eyes.

"Sorry, Tsukki. It's been so long since I last saw you blush like that. You guys are so cute." He said between his chuckles.

"Like you're one to talk. Your cheeks are red too. And I don't blush."

Yamaguchi's chuckles are music to Tsukishima's ears. He would record it if given the chance and listen to it all day long. "Sure Tsukki."

"What are you doing here anyways? And where's, uh.." Fuck. Tsukishima couldn't say it. Say the name of the man who took Yamaguchi away from him. He's not bitter, he's just-- fine. whatever.

"I was walking my dog." As if of cue, a golden retriever beside Yamaguchi barked. The guy's lip curled in a smile and scratched the dog's ear which earned him happy sounds from the dog. "And uhm, if you're looking for Taiyou, he's with his father. Business." Yamaguchi shrugged.

Soraru jumped in between them. "Can I play with Kirara more, Tadashi? Can I? Please please can I?" The boy gave them both the puppy eyes. Tsukishima was immune to it (not really) but he knew Yamaguchi wasn't.

"Um.." Yamaguchi seemed to not know what to say.

"You can't Soraru, Yamaguchi might be busy. We can't bother him if he already has prior appointments." Tsukishima tried to help Yamaguchi. As much as he wants to spend (forever) *coughs* a few more moments with Yamaguchi, he doesn't want to impose.

His nephew looked so forlorn that even Tsukishima felt so guilty of disappointing the little boy.

"Oh."

Yamaguchi perked up when he saw Soraru's pout. "Ah! I-it's fine! It's okay! I'm free all day so you can play with her, Sora." He smiled at the boy who immediately lightened up like a bulb.

"Yey! Heard that uncle? I can play with Kirara all day! Thanks Tadashi! You really are our star!" Sora cheered and wrapped his little arms around Yamaguchi's hips who just laughed and hugged the boy back.

See? This is why I hate kids. Little manipulators.

***

"He really resembles you when you were younger, Tsukki. It's like he's a mini version of you."

Tsukishima looked at the smiling image of Yamaguchi beside him as the freckled boy watch his nephew play with Kirara.

"Yeah. We get that a lot."

Yamaguchi turned to him with this look in his face that made Tsukishima want to brush his fingers along his cheeks and rediscover the constellations that was designing his beautiful face. God, he really did miss Yamaguchi. Tsukishima was only stopping himself from pulling the guy to him like he did the first time they met.

He can never do that anymore.

How regretful it was that in the past when he can freely touch and wrap his arms around Yamaguchi, he never took the opportunity and now that he wanted to so much it hurts he can't because he doesn't have the right.

If only he could talk to his past self, he would tell him to treasure Yamaguchi more.

Because he realized, losing Yamaguchi was the most painful thing that ever happened to him.

Tsukishima blinked when Yamaguchi snapped his fingers in his face. "Ah. Sorry, what was that?"

"I said I still can't believe that Aki-nii's a father now. And you, an uncle."

The blond shrugged. "A lot of things can happen in just a matter of time. It's been eight years, change is inevitable."

"Ah, yeah. I guess so."

"Yeah. Just look at you, you sure changed a lot."

Tsukishima smirked in a teasing manner to hide his bitterness. But of course, the only thing that never changed was Yamaguchi's way of understanding Tsukishima like he can read the blond's mind.

"I'm sorry."

Yamaguchi whispered as he played with his thumb in a nervous manner. Tsukishima waited for him to say more but he was already biting his lips so hard so Tsukishima didn't push it any further. He sighed and leaned his back on the back rest and his head on the tree trunk. He closed his eyes.

He wanted to say to Yamaguchi that it was fine; that he was okay as long as Yamaguchi is back now. But it wasn't. And Tsukishima couldn't lie. He wouldn't really care if it was other people. He was still Tsukishima Kei after all. But it was Yamaguchi and that's the problem. He always cared for Yamaguchi. He wanted to know-- the why, the how, everything that happened then. Because only then would he understand. And maybe, hopefully, move on to his own life.

With or without Yamaguchi.

Silence cloaked them. He shut the world and savored the zephyr against his skin. He almost fell asleep when he heard Yamaguchi's soft voice again.

"I know I owe everyone, especially you, an explanation. I will. Just.. please just let me prepare myself first Tsukki." Tsukishima opened his eyes and there he saw Yamaguchi, looking straight back at his very soul. "Will you wait for me?"

I waited for you for eight long years, Tadashi. I've been waiting for you to come back even without knowing if you would. Now you're asking me to wait for you again?

He so wanted to spat out. But one look at Yamaguchi's soulful green eyes and he already knew the answer. The sudden flood of emotions inside him almost scared him but he was going to wait. Even if it takes forever.

Maybe he really was a masochist.

He stared back at Yamaguchi.

"Can I touch you?"

Yamaguchi was taken aback at the question. But after a few seconds of confusion, he was nodding and Tsukishima didn't hold back himself this time. He reached out and slowly, gently, pulled Yamaguchi to him.

It was like returning home again. Yamaguchi fitted in his arms like he was meant to be there, the missing piece of Tsukishima's puzzle he called life. The soft curls of his hair tickled Tsukishima's cheek who just leaned in for more. He needed to feel more.

Yamaguchi's warm skin beneath him.

Yamaguchi's soft lips against his.

Yamaguchi's sweet voice moaning his name.

Yamaguchi's soulful eyes looking at him as if Tsukishima was the only thing that matters.

He needed Yamaguchi.

Oh God. He was so deep in love.

He still couldn't let go of Yamaguchi in the end.

He already had a taste of what life was like without him. And he didn't think he could take another lifetime suffering from heartaches and regrets.

He pressed his lips against Yamaguchi's temple in a gentle kiss.

"Take as much time as you needed, Tadashi. I will wait."

He will fight for him.

***

The world seemed to stop the moment they held each other. It was like they even forgot where they were, several people already gave them confused looks because why on earth would two men hug each other in the middle of a public park, a 5-year old kid with a big dog in front of them?

But Tsukishima didn't care. He had Yamaguchi's forehead pressed against the crook of his neck, warm breath tickling the exposed skin of his clavicle and his fingers dipped into soft curls, lazily massaging Yamaguchi's scalp. It feels good being this close to Yamaguchi. He felt calm, at ease, it was like the world suddenly became a better place.

It was really weird what love could do to people.

Not long after though, Soraru went to them asking for food. They pulled away from each other, and he couldn't help but smile when he noticed the adorable flush on Yamaguchi's face. He lead them to the gazebo and shared the food he bought earlier. With Yamaguchi's unexpected company, it's a good thing Tsukishima bought too much.

Cheese Burgers, a box of pizza, two large fries, a bottle of chocolate milk and water. And of course, two odd slices of strawberry shortcake.

"You still love strawberries huh?" He looked at Yamaguchi who was grinning at him teasingly.

He raised an eyebrow and smirked, "And you still like soggy french fries."

Yamaguchi was about to open his mouth to deny the accusation when Tsukishima looked at the evidence in his own hands. He was unconsciously taking all the soggy fries straight to his mouth. He blushed at the realization.

"It wasn't because I like them you know! You used to give me all the soggy ones when we were in middle school and it just kinda became a habit. It's your fault."

Tsukishima relished at the thought that there was a part of Yamaguchi that was because of Tsukishima himself. Because they were together.

He picked the lone strawberry lying on top his shortcake and brought it to Yamaguchi's lips who unconsciously opened his mouth. Tsukishima brushed his thumb along his lower lip.

"And you remind me of strawberries. Especially when you're blushing like that." He whispered whilst staring at Yamaguchi. "I bet you're sweeter though."

Yamaguchi flushed all the more (if that was even possible) that he really looked so ripe and sweet Tsukishima just wanted to run his tongue along that warm cheeks to have a little taste. A small bite on his luscious lips would be nice too.

Tsukishima mentally shook his head to get rid of those pervy thoughts.

"S-shut up Tsukki!"

Tsukishima just grinned triumphantly.

***

A

fter eating, they rested for a while before deciding to walk around the park. Sora was obviously happy tagging Kirara with him while Tsukishima and Yamaguchi talked about a lot of things comfortably with the occasional teases from the blond. It was like they were back to the old days when there was only the two of them.

It was already past three in afternoon when Soraru got tired of playing around and needed sleep. That was their cue to finally go home.

Soraru safely and comfortably tucked on the backseat, Tsukishima closed the door and faced Yamaguchi.

"Thanks."

Yamaguchi smiled at him, "No need to thank me. Kirara and I enjoyed too. It's been awhile since we last had a good company."

Silence filled them when Tsukishima just looked at Yamaguchi who shifted his weight awkwardly. "Um, so I guess I'll be going no--"

"Will I see you again?"

Tsukishima cut him off. "Uh. I guess? Maybe. I'm going to attend Sensei and Coach Ukai's Anniversary party next month so if you're, um, going to be there then.. yeah."

Tsukishima didn't know why he did it (he did) and Yamaguchi wasn't exactly sure why he let it happen but when Tsukishima lifted his face by the chin using his tapered fingers he didn't protest, nor did anything to stop it. When Tsukishima leaned down, he closed his eyes instead.

And then he felt it.

The soft press of Tsukishima's lips at the corner of his own.

Their lips barely touched but the turmoil it caused to his extremities were undeniable. His heart was throwing a fit inside his ribcage; his nerves were tingling and his mind ceased to work.

He stood there, frozen under the spell of one Tsukishima Kei with just a single touch. He reflexively opened his eyes when the warmth on his lips were gone and he looked up to Tsukishima's rare gentle smile. He leaned down again and kissed Yamaguchi in the forehead, whispered goodbye and something along the line of "be safe" and then he was sitting in front of his car's steering wheel and driving away, probably with Yamaguchi's heart along with him.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's give them a little fluff :)

**Author's Note:**

> This was a "punishment" for Tsukki for being such a flirt with Kuroo and hurting Yamabae (and me, hah!) in the process. Bite me, but I hate the KurooTsukki ship with the burning passion of a thousand suns.


End file.
